Tag Archives: comparing

Accept yourself with no exceptions

“Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to happen every time, it is about accepting that whatever happens is the best for that moment”

We all have had those moments where we go to check Facebook for a quick second and end up spending a half-hour on there, scrolling through our news feed, comparing ourselves to other people. Asking ourselves questions the entire time like “They look like they’re having so much fun and do so many cool things, why is my life so boring?” Or “I wonder why they didn’t invite me? Maybe there’s something wrong with me.” Or “How do your selfies look so perfect? It takes me at least 5 shots to get a picture I don’t hate.”

Admit it. We’ve all been down that road, comparing ourselves to the people around us. Even the most confident and self-assured people are guilty of this. If you have never done that, well kudos to you.

Tonight I had my high school reunion and to be completely honest, I was kind of anxious about it. Seeing what everyone has been up to is awesome and how much everyone has changed. I am so happy for my friends and everything they’ve accomplished. But at the same time I couldn’t help compare myself, it’s human nature.

So after throwing a pity party and momentarily freaking out about my life, I started to come back to reality. The thing is although I am happy for my friends, I would never want their lives and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want mine. Where I am in life right now may not be where I expected to be but as we all know too well, life is a wild journey. Having expectations just leads to disappointments.  And comparing ourselves to others is pointless. The world would be incredibly boring if everyone was exactly alike. When we accept ourselves and love who we are, we become empowered and respect ourselves. Therefore attracting respect from others too.

The other week, I met up with a friend for brunch. After spending hours catching up and laughing, we both went our seperate ways. As I was heading home, I thought how nice it was to see my friend and what great things she’s doing with her life but of course, I started comparing myself. Because of my disabilities, I will most likely never be able to drive and although it seems like no big deal, I feel like it holds me back in life. As my mind started to think how if I could drive, my life would more exciting like hers and started to get depressed, my mom and I were rear-ended. Everyone was fine thankfully and besides some minor damage, the car was okay. But in the quick second, I remembered why I’m glad I don’t drive. As a cancer survivor, I would rather go out in another way besides a car accident. Maybe something a little less dramatic. But moral of the story, guess that’s what I get for comparing myself to someone else.

“When you know yourself, you’re empowered.  When you accept yourself, you’re invincible”

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Take time to appreciate

Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do posess and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours

-Marcus Aurelius

Why is it that when you’re frustrated or stressed out about life, that you typically take your anger out on the people closest to you? When I am stressed, I usually take it out on my family. I haven’t been very appreciative of them lately but that needs to change.

For the past couple weeks, I have been in a funk; stuck in a constant bad mood and feeling overwhelmed. Worried about my life, my future, and focusing on what I don’t have instead of being thankful for what I have right now. I feel like most people can relate when I say my life is not what I planned. There are definitely moments when I look at Facebook or talk to my friends and think “Your life is so exciting and mine is so lame, what is wrong with me?!” I’m at that age where looking a my news feed consists of someone getting engaged, married, having a successful career or travelling the world. And don’t get me wrong or take this as offensive, nothing makes me happier than when my friends are happy, but it’s so easy to compare yourself.

Although life has not played out exactly how I planned, there are plenty of things I am grateful for. For example, this time last year, I thought I’d never find a job and here I am now with an incredible job. Maybe I’m not living with a bunch of friends from college, going out every weekend, and constantly meeting new people. Maybe I live at home and I’ll admit, there are times my family drives me crazy but overall, I love living at home. It’s nice to wake up on a Saturday morning to your mom making you breakfast just because. Or sitting outside on my patio, enjoying the peacefulness after a long day. Life has not gone how I planned but there are still many things to be thankful for and to appreciate.

 The other day, I was reading a blog with some advice about life. Something that stood out to me is how when you take time to appreciate your family, friends, and the present moment, you will be infinitely happier, better recognize what you have and how fortunate you are. You’re probably thinking that “duh!” but in our society and throughout life in general, it’s easy to forget this. (I do all the time) When you stop to truly appreciate those around you and the present moment, it will make your world brighter. That sounds super cheesy but it’s true.

I need to start better appreciating those around me, to live in the moment, and to not let what I don’t have make me forget what I do have.

Gratitude doesn’t change the scenery. It merely washes clean the glass you look through so you can clearly see the colors

-Richelle Goodrich

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Filed under Life in general, Positive attitude towards life

You look good in you

“Be proud of the person you are”

After taking a break this summer from physical therapy, I returned last week. It was so great to be back and to see my therapist, who is such a breath of fresh of air, is always positive and makes me feel good about myself even when I have a terrible day.  Instead of being frustrated by my unsteady gait or settling for a simple solution, like a walker or a cane, she is constantly coming up with new ideas to improve my walking. As we did my re-evaluation, testing to see what skills I’ve maintained and what I need to work on, I mentioned that I didn’t really wear my AFOs  (ankle fitted orthotics) this summer. Being made of hard plastic and fitting around my calf, the AFOs are not the most comfortable things in the world  and are miserably hot during the summer months. Although they help somewhat, even my therapist admits that I do not need to wear them all the time. (thank goodness)

I fully prepared myself to hear a lecture from my therapist on the importance of the orthotics or how I can’t totally neglect them. But instead she said our goal then is to ditch the AFOs during our appointments, to focus on strengthening my ankles and practice correctly walking without the AFOs because after all, i don’t want to start depending on them. God gave me feet for a reason. I smiled and thought this is why I love my therapist and why we work so well together.

However at my appointment Thursday, it was clear that maybe taking the orthotics out of the equation might not be such a great idea. I would take one step forward and three steps back. Or step to the side instead of directly in front of me, looking like Frankenstein. Or land on the sides of my feet causing my foot to roll and lose the little bit of balance I had. It was defiantly a frustrating appointment. Having an unsteady gait will always be something I struggle with, I’ve come to accept that and embrace my disabilities but some days are harder the an others. To be honest, some days being disabled just sucks, I feel so separated from the world and like I don’t fit anywhere.

Earlier this week, I was in Baltimore visiting my friend. I know Baltimore doesn’t have the greatest reputation but it is a beautiful city, in certain areas. Looking around the city, watching all the people, and seeing them interact, I couldn’t help but think “why am I not living here?” Here I am living at home, have no life really; most of my friends are living in the city with successful careers and awesome lives. So after throwing my little pity party in my mind and comparing myself to everyone, I started to think realistically. Most of the people in cities walk everywhere. Not that I don’t like walking but between my lack of balance and my legs tiring out easily, there’s no way I would want to walk around the city. As usual my disabilities would get in the way, go figure.  And quite honestly after living in Pittsburgh for a semester,  ends up that I’m not a city girl. Nothing against Pittsburgh, love that city, but I prefer wide, open spaces.

Comparing myself to others is something I do way too much or wishing I had someone else’s life. For example, to not be physically disabled seems like a great idea every now and then. But something I need to remind more is that I am where I am meant to be at this moment in my life and that we all have a certain path we are supposed to take in life.  If we all were alike, life would be boring but instead we live in a world with unique individuals, people with different opinions, abilities, and lifestyles that may differ from our own. Isn’t that exactly what makes life so beautiful?!

Shortly after my disappointing therapy session, I was asked to speak at an event to benefit the American Cancer Society and the governor of Maryland will be there. So maybe I don’t have the most social life or am able bodied or have a super awesome It’s easy to get . Maybe I do live at home, my mom is my best friend, the life I lead is not glamorous but because of the person I am, I’m able to share my story of surviving cancer and give hope to others.

It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle of life, to think how terrible our life is, and wish we had someone else’s life. But if we embrace our uniqueness and take our own path instead of following someone else, we will discover our true potential.

“Be who God created you to be and you will set the world on fire”

 – St. Catherine of Siena

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Filed under Being disabled, Positive attitude towards life

Comparison: a dangerous game

Franklin Roosevelt once said “Comparison is the thief of joy”

I don’t know about you but comparing myself to others and not being content with who I am, is something I’m very guilty of. I am always comparing myself to others whether in life and especially on social media.

To me, the desire to want to improve oneself is natural but it’s when you start not being content with who you are and wishing for someone else’s life, that you stop being grateful for what you have.

Every Sunday, for the past couple weeks at least, I’ve noticed the cutest family at church; a mother, husband, and an adorable baby. Now I know church isn’t the appropriate place to compare yourself or people watch but let’s be honest, it’s kind of hard not to. The mom looks to be about my age and it’s obvious they’re a young married couple. I sometimes think “Where did I go wrong? I’m not ready for any of that.  Am I wrong for being 25 years old, living at home, and having my best friend be my mom? I need a life.”

Well after weeks of watching this woman and her family, my mom and I stopped to talk to her. My mom immediately complimented her on the dress she was wearing which was gorgeous. And for just having a baby; she looked amazing! All three of us started talking, like women tend to do. We told her how we watch her family every week and what a wonderful family they are. But what stuck in my head was when she said she loves watching my mom and I every week, how seeing a mother and daughter is so beautiful and it makes her miss her own mother.

That comment made me stop and think. I was so concentrated on what I don’t have and comparing myself to others that I forgot to be thankful for what I do have. I want what you have but you want what I have?! It is like that quote “Be thankful for what you have. You have no idea how many people would love that.”

Maybe I get frustrated with my life at times and we all do every now and then but it’s important to remember that we are where we are meant to be at this moment and we never know what the future holds.

 

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