Providence has its appointed hour for everything. We cannot command results, we can only strive.
For anyone who knows me, you probably are aware of how important my faith is to me. Being Catholic is a huge part of who I am and without my faith, I probably would have given up a long time ago. A couple weeks ago, writers block had hit me hard and I was searching for ideas of things to write about. After texting my friend, she suggested to write about God’s providence in my life.
Although, I speak at retreats and share my faith with others, I’m always hesitant to write about it in my blog. Maybe hesitant isn’t the right word, I just don’t want people to see the word Catholic or God and immediately be turned away. Not that I am ashamed of my faith, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I just understand that not everyone has a strong religious foundation like I do and sometimes because of past experiences or a couple of over zealous individuals, religion isn’t your thing. Look, don’t let a couple bad eggs ruin the rest. We’re not all crazy.
For me personally, instead of preaching my faith, I would rather live my life as an example.
Second of all, to write a blog about God’s providence specifically in my life, it would be a super long post. From growing up with brain cancer, watching my dad die of ALS, surviving cancer and radiation damage, becoming physically disabled, nearly dying too, overcoming those disabilities to succeed in life, going onto high school and college, graduating college and now working for the state of Maryland; think it’s safe to say I’ve experienced God’s providence in many ways throughout my life. There have been plenty of times when I’ve felt alone and in the dark, just stumbling along, trying to find a light or some sort of hope.
For example, after graduating college, I spent a long time looking for a job. With a degree in Communications, I applied for jobs in writing, marketing, social media, grant writing, and development but interview after frustrating interview, none of them seemed to work out. I was annoyed and began to fall into depression, questioning my purpose in life. I did internships throughout college, wrote a book, and wrote for a successful newspaper; what else did I need to do to prove I was a worthy canidate?
In November of last year, I spoke at a cancer event which the governor attended and after handing him my resume, I had an interview with his office. One thing led to another and several months later, I had a job and it was right in my own backyard, like 5 minutes from my house! Shortly after starting, I found out, the director of my building has the same first name as my dad and his last name is ironically similar to someone very close to me that just passed away. What an odd coincidence!
All of those jobs I applied to with their long commute and the time wasted worrying about my future and being depressed, now seems ridiculous. It was as if this job was waiting here for me all along, I was just too blind to see it or was looking in all the wrong places. I am so blessed and so thankful!
Whether you’re religious or not, you have to admit providence is all around us. And that somehow, someway, everything happens for a reason, no matter how messed up it seems at that moment.
To go back to those dancing balloon men that I used in my last blog. I know they don’t have feelings but let’s just pretend. Those poor guys are just waving in the air, struggling to gain control of themselves, and the only thing that keeps them grounded is the fact that they’re tied down. The business owners who use them as an advertising gimmick, need to have hope and faith that a really bad wind won’t come and take these guys away. Just like they also have to have hope that these airdancers will grab people’s attention and bring in customers. We are very much like these dancing balloon men, dancing through life, not really in control of our lives. But unlike the dancing balloon men, we can step forward and take that leap of faith into the unknown.
It’s easy to give up when things are not working out as you planned but you must have faith. Whether it is in God, in yourself, or in those around you. But if you are willing to work hard, stay determined, and keep trying, providence will find a way.
This quote may seem kind of crazy and out-there but I felt like using it. Doesn’t everyone put faith and Eminem together?!