We never know where we will be at the end of our journey. We do, however, know where we are today; and from there we can mine our hope and love to set the course forward. Our attitude shifts our sails and ultimately determines not only our final destination but more importantly, the voyage and experiences along the way.
Like most people after college, I have struggled to find a job. Being a communication studies major, my strength is in writing and journalism but I also understand marketing, public relations and broadcasting. Shortly after graduating, I helped St John School write a grant proposal in order to purchase iPads and they were awarded $60,000. (not too bad for having little to no knowledge about grant writing) After finishing that proposal, I started to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity of Carroll County, joining their fundraising and PR committee and managing their Facebook page. I figured while I look for another job, might as well volunteer my time, keep my skills fresh, and help out the community.
It’s safe to say job searching has been a very long and frustrating experience! Application after application, filling out them is a full time job in itself. And then of course there’s some companies you hear from and then those you don’t hear from at all. There is also those who will call for a phone interview and upon hearing my voice, maybe it’s just my negative thoughts, but they assume I am not mentally capable of doing the job. (Do you not see that I graduated with a four year degree, am a motivational speaker and wrote and published my autobiography?!) For months I went without even an interview and then all of a sudden, it seemed as though I had one every week.
Recently I had an interview, the job seemed like a perfect fit and I felt confident when I left the interview but on Friday, I got the email that they chose another candidate. So after wallowing in my self pity for about an hour, drinking some chocolate milk (my comfort drink) and thinking I’m a complete failure, I started to think maybe not having a job has been a blessing in disguise. Not having a job has allowed me to have a flexible schedule and always available. Like when I am asked to speak at a retreat on a Wednesday morning or sometime during the day, I don’t have to consult my work schedule. When I was asked to testify against the physician assisted suicide bill last year, I was free and able to help in any way that I could. (That was a pretty awesome experience) I have also had time to figure out what is important to me and to separate the college Beth from the post college Beth. And most importantly, I probably never would have started or had time for a blog with a job.
Shortly after I started to think this, I got an email from a friend saying she knew someone who works for the company I had just applied to and put in a good word for me! (I really would love the job!!) Here’s hoping to getting an interview and a job! Although it is a bit long, I love this analogy by C.S. Lewis. Guess maybe that other job wasn’t meant for me.
“Imagine yourselves as an living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity